Come on now, you KNEW this was coming....

Eeep! It's youtube to the rescue, and JUST as I'd begun descending into the depths of Barbie Bashing Withdrawal Syndrome (not a pretty sight, trust me. I was actually eyeballing pink prom dresses yesterday.....) Fortunately, my DD surfed me over to The Gothic Charm School with an eye toward correcting my blasphemous moment of pink perversion. :D

Enjoy. :D

Give Barbie a Burger. Fast.

You know it had to happen eventually. When it comes to Barbie, nothing is sacred on this blog. :) But let me warn you. This picture is truly cringe worthy and certaily justifies a truck load of super sized extra value meals. :D

OMG, Barbie and Ken go Political

OK, Barbie, do NOT make me like you.

This video makes an obvious political statement, but it's so well done that I had to tip my hat to the Plastic Princess for taking a stand for something beyond Pink Power.

OMG....Barbie Got Back! :D

Ohhhhh, I have so missed Barbie bashing. What has it been now? A week and a half since I last opened fire on the plastic princess? Well damn. All this writing is making me all...like serious and stuff. We simply can't have that. Not in my little corner of cyber space.

So, my darlings...let the bashing begin! Barbie as you've never seen her....

Barbie and Ken. To Die for...

Seeing as how Halloween is inbound, I thought we might like to celebrate the country's newest undead couple....Barbie, and Ken. Now if you ask me? It's a vast improvement. I'm just wondering where I can get an undead Kelly to complete the (not so happy) family!





Day four on the seventy days of sweat challenge, and I'm only halfway to word count. Back to work with me!

It's a Bird. It's a Plane. It's BARBIE???

This was simply too priceless to ignore. Yes, girls, you truly can be the Barbie you always dreamed of, right down to the waist length, flaxen locks and yes, even the pink fashion doll window box. Go ahead. You know you want to.

A Video only a Barbie Basher could love. :D

Trashy Ladies

I've often wondered why I rail on Barbie the way I do. It's not like I was ever traumatized by the plastic princess. Perhaps my childhood closet career as a Barbie mutilator is to blame. Every time I got a barbie, I had to redo her into my (geeky) image. That usually involved dying her hair blue with a Magic Marker, chopping off her hair, and giving her some black lipstick. :D

Whatever the formative roots behind motives my outrageous obsession with nuking the Barbie World, I have finally fallen in love with a fashion doll.

Sort of.

Ok, fine, maybe fashion isn't quite the right word, but its as close as I'll ever come.


Courtesy of my lovely daughter (who is allergic to pom-poms thank GOD!), I present to you.......

(drum roll please)....

are you ready? :D

O.K., hang on to your hats....

Here she is. The one doll I truly MUST own....as seen on STUPID.com



The Talking Trailer Trash Doll. (I've named her Lurlene).

This trashalicious darling captures a world that Barbie has only seen in her worst nightmares. She wears a leather jacket and halter top, sports a head of bleached-blonde hair complete with curlers. Yes, that's a cigarette dangling from her mouth.

Did I mention that this (ahem) lovely trashionista got knocked up somewhere along the way (again)?

So even if Barbie has never met Lurlene, there's a good chance that Ken did. I mean after Barbie dumped the guy, I'm sure he sowed a few wild oats.

Lurlene talks, too! Go ahead, press her belly button.

"Pour me a double, I'm drinkin' for two."

"Bubba Jr., get off your sister!"

Lurlene may not be well versed in the social graces, but she's well-made. She comes in the box as shown, and even includes a little baby doll from a previous pregnancy.

Enjoy your Barbie world. I'm going to go throw back a few with Lurlene. :D

As my darling diabolical spawn is fond of saying...."I LOVE EET!"

Wonder if they could make a version with stretch marks?

A dead relative perhaps?

So, seems Barbie bashing isn't an *entirely* new sport. One of my dah-link compadres sent this to me--I'm told it was written in the fifties.

It's....well....gothalicious!

Barbie Doll
by Marge Piercy

This girl child was born as usual
and presented dolls that did pee-pee
and miniature GE stoves and irons
and wee lipsticks the color of cherry candy.
Then in the magic of puberty, a classmate said:
You have a great big nose and fat legs.

She was healthy, tested intelligent,
possessed strong arms and back,
abundant sexual drive and manual dexterity
She went to and fro apologizing.
Everyone saw a fat nose on thick legs.

She was advised to play coy,
exhorted to come on hearty,
exercise, diet, smile and wheedle,
Her good nature wore out like a fan belt.

So she cut off her nose and her legs
and offered them up.
In the casket displayed on satin she lay
with the undertaker’s cosmetics painted on,
a turned-up putty nose,
dressed in a pink and white nightie.
Doesn’t she look pretty? everyone said.
Consummation at last.
To every woman a happy ending.
__

May love always rule in your life,

Liane